life with a bitter name.

i once poured my heart out
to complete strangers,
but i fear now

that i could never be beautiful .

because i want to photograph my life
and i want to catch fireflies
to fill up a mason jar ,

but i never do
the things i say i will .

i want to drunkenly stumble to the ground
with the inentions
of staring through blurry eyes
at nature's nightlights .

i want to be able to scream
(that i love you)
and mean it
from the bottom of my soul .

but the pills are gone ,
and so are the dreams .

it seems to me
that i
will never
feel good enough
f o r y o u
to be happy .