shedding diamond hearts.

'hello, how are you doing?'

'how am i doing? i'm doing terrible. i'm falling off the edge of the world, grasping for a hand. and i keep slipping, slipping on the diamond covered ground. my toes are frostbitten and i can't feel my heart pulsating beneath my chest. and quite possibly, it's all your fault.'

'hold your tongue.'

'no, i mean it. whenever i'm in the tub taking a boiling bath, i have to threaten myself with death to stop crying. i have to hold my head under the water until my eyes burn from the soap i use to scrub away memories. i close my eyes but all i can see are your dark irises staring blindly into the darkness, searching.'

'searching for what?'

'i'm not quite sure. i can never stand to look you in the eye, so i have to open mine. but sometimes that's never enough. sometimes your standing on the edge of my shower, looming over my naked body. just staring at my chest with hungry eyes and hands outstretched. almost as though you're about to scratch away my skin.'

'why would i possibly do that?'

'i'm not quite sure. maybe so you can steal my heart. but -'

'but what?'

'then i realized you already had it. and maybe that's why it feels like my head is spinning. maybe that's why i have no sense of feeling if you're not around. maybe that's why i always see you.'

'maybe.'